What to do when you are too comfortable with getting your own ways in relationship? Or getting too comfortable in Long Distance Relationship zone?
For me, what happened is the moment I entered a ‘normal’ relationship, as in not a long distance one, I feel suffocated, chained and not at peace at all.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but the fact is my previous relationships were always long distance one. I don’t really know whether it’s pure coincidence or by design and if by design, was it my own design? I’m not sure, really not sure about the answer to that question.
I mean, I’m bored with my friends asking me where is my boyfriend and when did they get to meet him. The things is, I usually keep my boyfriend as a secret because it’s just too much a bother to introduce them when my boyfriend come and visit me and also explaining things about how we met, how we ended up dating each other and others. So in the end, I just stopped telling them about my boyfriend and basically living my life as a single ladies (BGM Beyonce-Single Ladies completes with dance) while having a boyfriend on the side, quite far away (but not far far away like in Star Wars).
What’s so different about long distance relationship? Let me tell you, having a long distance boyfriend, means you have best of both worlds. Still living most of your days as single ladies while still having someone special to share your moments, who cares for you even though he’s far away. Night time stolen time through phone call and video call to ease our own longing for each other, the corny way we call each other, and someone to worry for you and for you to worry about in your days. The first guy you remember when you wake up and the last person you think of when you’re going to sleep, unless of course you’re watching some serious hunk on screen like Chris Evans just before bedtime, in that case, no matter how much you love your boyfriend, Chris Evans face will still fleet in your thought before you sleep even when you want to think about your boyfriend.
While you’re having all of that, you still could went out with your friends within reasonable hours and frequency, because after all you boyfriend is not with you so he could not take you out for a date, right? (Hint : Single ladies baby!), hanging out with your friends almost every night, because your nights are date-free and you’re basically bored, and anyway when your boyfriend come, you’ll ended up dating almost every night, right? So why not spend most of that time having your own ‘Me’ time with friends, having a good time and some fun. Of course my boyfriend didn’t like it that much that I apparently have a very active social life, but he also have active social life and I never told him to curb his own life style and I expect the same courtesy from him. Because we both are adult, I always make a policy of being honest with him. When I’m still out carousing with my friends at 12.30 am, and also with who I was hanging out with. My boyfriend will remind me to be careful, not to go home too late or anything and be careful on my way back home and etc. And by the time I arrived home, I’ll inform him that I’ve arrived safely and we will chat or even talk on the phone for quite some time before finally going to sleep.
Being far away from me, he sometimes felt left out on my personal life, so to make it up for him, I always told him a lot of stories of my friends and my life. He got jealous from time to time, especially because he know I’m close to some of my male friends, and we fought because of it but I never paid special attention to it, because I know he’s entitled to that feeling. No matter what, no matter how many times we fought and argue because of small and petty things, he still believe in me. When we meet, he’ll never try to look at my chat or message, because that’s just how it is, sometimes I’m the one who show something to him, because my friends are just too hilarious and he needed to get the joke. But he never lean in and try to read my messaging and chat windows.
But now, I have new boyfriend who’s annoying and overprotective at the same time, he will leans in and read my messages, he want to come every night, even when we’re not going out. He want to monopolize my time only for him all the time? I don’t have time to hang out with my friends, because he want all my time with him?
As a girl who has been in long distance relationship a lot, this is new. and I feel annoyed and also think that he’s overbearing and way too much.
So I’m in a crossroads now, on the other hand it’s nice to know someone is caring for you but also I feel trapped, annoyed, not free…………………….